CURATED TINDER BIO ICE-BREAKERS.
A personal tragedy with my fiance in 2018 left me single. After a healing process, blah, blah, blah, it became time to date. Tinder was suggested as pivoting from a hook-up site to long-term. I learned the ropes etc… But I saw a change occur. Pick-up lines pivoted to something more akin to value propositions in a resume.
You decide. They are not quite a value proposition, or pick-up line. I best describe the Tinder opening statement is a BIO ice-breaker that demonstrates your wit and personality. It’s definitely a generational thing. As age goes up, daring creativity evaporates to zero.
- I'm saving my virginity for divorce.
- I'm sorry I don't give out my social security number until the second date.
- Highly proficient in choosing borderline inoperable shopping carts. The ones with a deranged front wheel that spontaneously lock up are my fav
- Sometimes I got the answers to the questions on Jeopardy.
- If only having blue eyes and an ugly dog were acceptable personality traits.
- Not the best but not the worst.
- I love veggies. Fuck eggplant tho
- Tinder is like online shopping for things I can't emotionally afford.
- I haven't been able to parallel park since Nam.
- Not all Geminis are indecisive, in my case maybe not.
- Dating me is like having a migraine and an erection at the same time
- I'm just looking for someone to ruin my life.
- I'm looking forward to ignoring you
FROM AROUND THE WORLD
I didn’t want a deep-dive, so I ran a search on articles. Here are a few that made news.
- Not the type of girl you have to hold farts in for. I'm the type you want to hold in farts for.
- Nudes are played out. Send me a video of you reading out loud so I know your not f---ing dumb.
- I'll carve our names on a tree on our first date, it's the most romantic way to let you know I have a knife.
- It's tough being a single mom. Or so I'm told. I wouldn't know; I have two kids.
- If you can’t handle me at my worst then I applaud you for setting reasonable and healthy boundaries on your relationships.
- Can definitely promise correct grammar in conversation
- My three favorite things are dick jokes and not using commas.
- I sexually identify as a microwave dinner. I'm ready in five minutes, look nothing like my pictures and I'm just satisfying enough for you to want me again when you're desperate.
- You get one bad dad joke so use it wisely.
- Current relationship status: Made dinner for two. Ate both.
- If you can't laugh at yourself, I probably will.
- If you're over 35, it's time to forget about young girls and find a woman who can recognise signs of a stroke.
- The last time I was someone's type I was giving blood
- Let's get coffee like boring people.
- I never talk during sex because my mom says don't talk to strangers.
- I've learnt that men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If I see you without an erection, I'll make you a sandwich.
- Went to a party dressed as an egg, and got with a guy who was dressed as a chicken. A life long question was answered that night. It was the chicken.
- I hope you like bad girls because I'm literally bad at everything.
MY TURN
What did I come up with? First, allow me to point out, I didn’t cull the Internet. I work in ad copy. I’m a creative writer. I better damn well have something of my own. Right? I think I definitely walked right up to the line on mine.
My idea of a perfect date? When I don't need the rope & duct tape.
TRUE STORY. TELL YOUR KIDS.
If you can’t tell, I’m a notorious smart-ass on Tinder if you leave an opening. No, I’m not rude. I’m definitely not behaving passive aggressive. I’m honestly just enjoying myself playing with words.
One sticks out just today. A profile of a young lady named, Jennifer. She went on about how you could call her Jenny, JenJen, Jennifer, Jens, J, JJ, anything but Jen. Her unusual secret was that she has never drank coffee. I instantly sent a LIKE with, “Hey Jen, let’s grab a coffee!” Now. A smart lady will realize, This guy actually read my profile.
Before you think I left it that, I did actually following up explaining I was being playful and was in fact demonstrating I read her profile. This also illustrates the point that on Tinder, you need to bring it. You need to be bold enough to get attention because women are flooded with LIKES and if she’s talking to you, she’s talking to five other men. This is why men get ghosted. Women just don’t have the bandwidth to deal with a numerous men without ignoring some or most.
I know this to be true because I’ve made great friends with women on Tinder and we end up pulling out our phones and sharing perspectives of how the other side deals.
Honestly, I’m over Tinder, I miss what I once had when I was in something I believed in. Tinder is a great distraction from work when work needs a creativity break.
sure tinder is fun. until you realize you can't just be unsingle anymore
My advice is don’t screw up your relationship.
And this part I’m serious about. Online dating is really only for people who have the time to not take it seriously.
Yes! Double oxymorons!