Real Men

Lars Hindsley writes about men

IS THERE SUCH A THING?

Yes. Strength, character, and Wisdom. Great start. Table your emotions. Relegate your pride.

A real man’s strength comes from within. Unless you find that one true friend for life, and even then you need to be her rock, you should have internal nerves of steel.  A real man knows who he is.  A real man is never run over by personalities around him. He doesn’t compromise his values to his boss, his girlfriend, wife, or anyone. He knows what he stands for and who he is.  You should be strong enough to let your woman do as she pleases and trusts her to come back to your bed at the end of the day.  If she does not, or you ever find she has cheated, you move on.   You don’t let her affect the next person willing to love you better.  A real man’s strength is not merely in muscle, but the sharpness of senses.

A real man follows his instincts.  The signs of a real man’s strength vary, from brushing the dirt off a wound to brushing fowl words off your shoulder.  A real man doesn’t have a chip on his shoulder, a real man knows for every situation he must adjust.   A real man buries his vulnerabilities from everyone.  No one should ever know your Achilles heel.

A real man is self-confident with high-self esteem.  A real man believes in something greater than himself.  Be it God, or others, but he knows the sun, moon, and stars do not revolve around himself.  He has no use for arrogance.

A real man is an expert listener. Wisdom can only be achieved by learning.  You cannot learn without listening.  You’ve heard the saying we are all geniuses as wise men until we open our mouths.  The less you say the smarter you are, even if you only appear it.  But in doing so, your listening will make you wiser.

A real man is cool under pressure. He takes on problems unemotionally so the problem doesn’t overwhelm his ability to overcome the obstacle. You could say he compartmentalizes problems so they do not affect every aspect of his life.  Losing your cool is unacceptable for a real man.

A real man doesn’t stifle his emotions. While he knows when to be strong and “never let them see you sweat”, he also knows there is a time to let them know what is on your mind.

A real man knows how to communicate. He could be articulate and refined, quiet and reserved, or brash and direct, but whatever words he uses or does not use… they demonstrate the character of the man accomplished in gaining his desires through communication.

A real man knows when to keep his trap shut.  This is NO easy feat.

A real man doesn’t talk shit.  He puts his money where his mouth is and if he pops off about winning a game then loses, he acknowledges the winner and doesn’t make excuses.  My mother once taught me, “Never brag on yourself, let your friends do it for you or not at all.”  Seems to apply here.

A real man picks his battles.  You have to know which battles you are suited to win, which ones require allies and which ones are just not worth winning.  You have to know when the world around you is caving in on others, read the signs and get the hell out of dodge and let other fools fall prey to the circling hordes.

A real man owns up to his mistakes.

A real man knows the difference between bravery and bravado and thus only employs bravado when bravery requires it.

A real man doesn’t need to be told to do the right thing, he knows when situations require it of himself and he steps up to do the right thing.

A real man knows despite his ability to fight that his restraint will save him from the modern world’s vindictive and abuse systems.  He understands that ignorant people may even ridicule him for not being a man when they don’t know everything about him.  This is where knowing your own self and having strong self-esteem are more than just a handy trait; they can save your life.

A real man takes risks.   Some translate this into having balls.

A real man knows his enemies and reveals nothing to them especially that they are his enemy.  He always remains compassionate up to the time a winning blow can be dealt, and then there is no room for compassion.

A real man believes in honor, loyalty, and morality.  His life is guided by principles.

FAMILY

A real man’s ultimate loyalty is to his family.  He puts family before himself.   A real man is not selfish.  He doesn’t live for finding his next lay or a trophy wife.  A real man appreciates his mother, his father, his sisters, and brothers… not just his wife and children.

LOVE

A real man has no use for practical women.

A real man doesn’t need a woman.

OK, that’s not entirely true.  Real men are independent of mind and capable of being alone without being lonely.

When they are whole and complete, they are ready to share their lives and time with a woman. A real man doesn’t let a woman dictate his happiness.

A real man can never love his woman too much.  Seems like a diametrical statement in contrast to the last one eh?  It’s not.  You should never — never need a woman until you find the one suited for you for the rest of your life.  That one woman should be the only one that ever takes the fun out of being alone.

A real man sees the beauty inside a woman and knows how long it will last.

A real man doesn’t let his car define him; he lets his choice of women define him.

This is a vulnerability exposed to everyone…  I could write a book on this subject alone.  In short, to protect your own heart, treat her right.

 A real man never tells a woman what he really thinks of her in an argument, he never preys on her insecurities nor does he remind her of her failings.  Gives you little to say I know but you lose respect and love by challenging her in any one of these areas.

A real man ends a relationship with his dignity intact.   He may try to hang on, he may walk away, but however he does it, he remains dignified.

WORK AND CAREER

A real man makes his own way.  If he falls on hard times, he remembers everyone that helped and pays them back when he regains his way.

A real man enjoys work.  If you live to golf you are one boring fuck, you just don’t know it.

A real man knows when he has a good thing and doesn’t blow it.  From woman to job he knows accepting the repetitive nature of certain things in life is more than just a good thing.

PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT

A real man is no slob.  He takes pride in his clothes, the inside of his car, his home, his hair, his teeth, his shoes, and the inside of his body.

A real man can work with his hands.  If something breaks in your home, you don’t need to call a carpenter, electrician, or plumber.  If he is really smart, he learns to sew. If he doesn’t know how he learns how.

A real man can cook and knows how to cook.  He knows the difference between braising and blanching, how to substitute items, what foods complement each other and most of all, he knows how to hold and use a knife.

A real man learns from his mistakes. Any man at the top has his share of screw-ups, failures, and even beatings.  Without mistakes, there is nothing to learn from.

STYLE, CULTURE, FASHION

A real man owns his own tux.

A real man learns to dance.  He may never use it, but he learns it and injects his own style into what he has learned.

A real man has a sense of style.  He knows what a collar stay is, knows how to tie a tie.  He knows what sox to wear with what color shoes or pants.  He understands trends change and so must his wardrobe and he doesn’t dress outside his range.

A real man looks great in jeans and a t-shirt.

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